Dear Front Door,
Why do you hate me? What did I ever do to you to make you dislike me so? Did I slam you too hard? Did I not clean you often enough? I know that you must feel like you should be the prettiest of the doors in the house. And I promise that I'm trying my best to make you look better! Didn't I scrub you squeaky clean and bring home a lovely red color for you to be?
Then why won't you, dear door, behave!? Why must your insets be so tedious to paint? Why must you suck up all of the paint and cry for more!? I know it's red, but seriously?!! Five coats really should be enough!
No love and lots of turpentine,
L
Dear Puppies,
Yes, I know you are stressed because there are new smells, loud noises and you have to stay in the back room for the afternoon. I really am very sorry but that does not mean that you need to mob mommy and all try to sit on her lap when she finally lets you out. Both of you are just too big to sit in her lap all at once! (And Atlas, just because Loki sits on mommy's lap first does not mean that you can sit on top of him... that's not how that works.)
Love and puppy Prozac,
L
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